The Z Family Circus

Purposeful Blogging - Part 1

2007-05-19T06:14:00.000-07:00

Oh my. I always seem to start these posts with a sentence or two regretting my lack of blogging. Still, I guess that should be a good sign - a sign that I have enough to do that I don't really have time to sit at the computer and blog.

Still, I find myself at the computer more and more these days, and that's good thing! In late March (and I think I wrote about this . . . ) I received a message from someone who had found a little ad I had posted on craigslist offering my services as a proofreader. I figured it was high time to start putting to use that expensive little document hanging in the hall called a Bachelor's Degree in English. So naturally, I offered services for a reasonable fee doing what I do best, helping others improve their writing.

Side note: As a child and on up into college, I wrote poetry on a regular basis, high school newspaper articles, an article for a newspaper once, thousands of letters, hundreds of scholarly papers, and the occasional short story that just never seemed to shape up right, always leaving me feeling depressed and inadequate.

I got impressive grades in writing and became engrossed with the beautiful workings of the English language, surprised by the joy I felt at discovering the intricacies and logic of grammar and style. Still, I never considered myself a writer. I was so good at helping others realize their writing, at leading them back to the right path within a paper astray, finding that lost thesis or missed point. And in the back of my mind, I quietly resigned myself to a life of teaching others to write well. Chiding myself with, "Those who cannot do, teach."

So back to the story at hand - I got a few replies from local graduate students desperate for help with papers, whose success seemed to hold their academic careers in the balance. While I found the work enjoyable, I, admittedly became annoyed with having to lead them along step by step, explaining in detail why you did such-and-such for MLA in-text citations and such-and-such to block a quote for APA style. Blah. I just couldn't feel an real satisfaction, especially with this unspoken but strong expectation that my help would guarantee an A or at least a B. I cringed at that thought, not wanting to say to them, "I cannot make your brain work for you; I cannot hand-feed you ideas! All I am here to do is show you the error of your grammatical ways and fix your works-cited page. Nothing more. I don't recall advertising myself as a ghost-writer of academic essays!"

So as all this was going on I received a short email from a fellow saying he was the owner of a local business magazine and was looking for freelance writers and was I interested? I snorted to myself, "Yeah, right. It's probably not a real magazine, just one of those email solicitations that direct you to a web-site full of annoying pop-ups and flashing ads. No thanks." But in truth, I think what I really thought was but quickly brushed off was, "I'm not a freelance writer. I'm not a writer at all." And just like that, I ignored the email and went on with my life.

Two weeks later I sat in the family room of a friend at my women's prayer group. I have been meeting with this small group of women for over two years, sharing our hearts and calling out to God on each other's behalf, encouraging one another, laughing and crying together. It has been a sweet, sweet fellowship where I can always anticipate being able to let down the guard that we all inevitably carry around with us, to protect our hearts and histories. With these ladies there are no pretensions, no judgements, just friendship and the bond of a love for Christ and a commitment to follow Him. So as we talked that evening, my doubts of myself as a writer came up, and they listened intently not affirming or discouraging my abilities.

As much as I loved these friends, I had never share my writing with them. Sure, I blogged here and there, but I laughed that off as a frivolous hobby, just a journal. I had never shared the inner yearning of my heart to write out my thoughts and have others read them, hoping for that electric moment of connection between reader and writer. That "Ah-ha!" moment. I longed to pour my heart onto paper, and yes for someone to appreciate it. Still, all that has been forever shrouded in fear and self-doubt. Cringed in intimidation of better writers with better ideas and better form. Writers who knew they were fabulous and creative....who had "it". I just didn't feel I could compete with that. Nor did I want to.

My friends prayed earnestly for direction, for wisdom, and for opportunities. We said "Amen", hugged and went home.

The next day I opened up my email box and saw a familiar email address. That magazine owner. I shrugged to myself and clicked on the subject line that read something like "local magazine needs freelance writers". It was another email asking if I would consider writing for this magazine. It had a phone number, a local one. This guy knew nothing about me, let alone my skills or abilities. But what the heck? What could it hurt? I logged off and dialed the number I had scribbled onto a post-it. One ring, two rings, "Hello!" I made my introductions and explained who I was and why I was calling. He enthusiastically began to ask me questions about my experience, my education, etc, and before I knew it, he was offering me an opportunity. To write. Feelings of doubt crept up in my chest causing me to add, "And I proofread too!" So there, I would write and proofread. Call so-and-so to get your assignments and guidelines. Payment is as follows, every week. Goodbye.

I hung up in a sort of daze not really sure if that really happened. What did this entail? I had a million questions and most of them were me questioning myself, " Do you really think you can do this?"

Fast forward to mid-May, I am in the middle of writing a cover story. I have two folders, finished articles and works in progress. I write invoices and make appointments for phone interviews. My lunch-breaks that used to be filled with boredom, exhaustion, and the occasional cross-word are now often filled with a rush to check emails, make phone calls, or scribbling out ideas for articles onto a yellow legal pad. I have to say that I think I have felt a little like Melinda Doolittle on this season's American Idol, when receiving praise from the business owners I've written about or from my boss(es), I have often smiled in surprise and joy, "Really? Wow!" Now I'm not so much surprised by the praise, but I do cherish it. I am thankful and excited. I feel like I am not just doing a job that I enjoy, I feel as if I am working out my God-given ability, finally doing what He created me to do.

No more endless self-questioning or strangling doubt, just accepting what God has so graciously given and moving forward, joyfully anticipating whatever God has next.

I just re-read this, and I am a bit horrified at how long it became! Why am I spilling this out into the universe? I guess I just had to let everyone know how truly Great God is, how incredible He is to bless us and to love us enough to give us each a passion, a purposeful desire to create or achieve or improve. I pray that each of you, my friends, can find that whatever that may be. It comes in so many colors, so many shapes and sizes. Just like we are all created distinctly unique, so are the paths God has laid out for each of us. That is the beauty and the mystery of it all.

Random Going-Ons in the Z Household

2007-04-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Wow. I just realized that it has been exactly a month since I last posted. Sorry to all five of my faithful readers/friends. Love ya!

God has been blessing the Zs - that is for sure! Starting at home - Jonah is finally potty-trained! I can hardly believe it! He still has accidents aplenty, but he has the general idea now, and buying pull-ups is more of an every-once-in-awhile type of thing rather than a grocery item. He loves his underwear and will proudly show them to anyone who ask how the potty-ing is going. We're so darn excited about his new "big boy" status that we have bought different undies every time we go to Target. Hey, it's less expensive than a pack of pull-ups!

We also shaved Jonah's head. Why did we do it? I still don't really know. Last week it was summer-spring, so it was blazing hot on the playground, and Jonah's thick locks were making him sweat like a little hairy pig. I mentioned to Jason that Jonah needed a haircut, so Jason offered to take him to Great Clips. I was napping when they returned, and was shaken out of my sleep with the sight of my newly shorn child. It's growing on me. Who cares anyway, right?! It will grow back by May.

I am no longer just a pre-school teacher. I am now a free-lance writer/proofreader as well. I have a more profound love of Craigslist now. I put up a little ad offering my services as a proofreader/editor since I am a hopeless grammar nerd who wants to make a few extra bucks to help us get out of debt. I got a phone call two weeks ago from a magazine publisher offering me the oppurtunity to do some freelance work. I finished my first three articles last week! It was thrilling to get back to doing something I really, really love. To get paid for that, even better. I've also got some freelance proofing going on too - God is so good! The coolest thing is that I got the call for the magazine job the night after praying about this w/ my women's prayer group. I don't know why it still amazes me when God answers prayers like this. I know Him better than that. Well, I am grateful for this new adventure, and I am excited to see where it takes us!

Jason has some neat oppurtunities out in front of him too. He is working for Borders, Inc. right now and not loving it. We are praying and searching for a right fit for Jason. He is looking into gettting back into Youth ministry, which I am totally phsyched about! So, throw up a prayer for us if you think about it!

Well, little man is up from his nap, which means I need to go! See ya!

Hit the Ground Running

2007-03-07T18:59:00.000-08:00

Let me start by giving HUGE props to the local and fabulous Ms. Melinda Doolittle from Brntwood who is definitely
W-O-M-A-N!!! I am such a pathetic Idol Junkie!

As I get older, (Oh how that word "older" just sticks in my throat!) I find that I have to keep pushing myself into setting goals to avoid becoming this huge, immobile blob of a person who does what she needs to do to get by - all the while barely noticing that life is indeed whizzing by. I don't want to watch Jonah go off on his own and then realize that I still have to do something other than take care of him. So, as I am still a "twenty-something", I am trying to commit to acting like one. Learning new things, trying new endeavors - y'know, all that stuff that used to just be second nature!

I am sure that I have bored everyone to tears talking about my quest to get back to the skinny gal who lurks somewhere inside of me. I know she's in there just dying to get out, but first I have to shed off the chubby girl who has taken residence for the past 5 years. Anyway, the weightwatchers is going really well. Slow, but well. I've really had to change my whole lifestyle and admit that I can't just eat whatever I want anymore. When I was 18, I could literally eat junk all day and night without gaining an ounce. Now, I have to fight to keep the ounces from hurtling at me with lightning speed! It's just sad to have to admit that, which I think was 80% of why I haven't been successful in the past with weigh loss. Blah blah blah . . . so I am 8 lbs down now (and counting!)

The new big endeavor I am trying is exercise. Not the typical go-to-the-gym-once-a-week-and -look-like-a-sweaty-fool type, it's more for real, goal-oriented. I am training for the Music City Half-Marathon in late April. The training schedule is pretty rigorous, but I have a great friend who does my 4-milers with me every other day, and these walk/jogs turn into some of the most engaging conversation I've had! It's amazing how much you can learn about someone by just walking beside them for an hour. I keep to the training schedule as much as possible not only because my boss is the person I am doing the marathon with and she will ask me if I have ran that day, but also I don't want to throw up in the street because I didn't train well. Yeah, puking in public is never ever cute.

Snow Day!

2007-02-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

I must get out of the house today . . . It's snowy and miserable outside, but I will kick myself if I spend an entire Saturday staying cooped up in here. So, I hope you're all enjoying (or not enjoying) this winter as much as I am. I gauge how much I like this season based on the number of days and/or time I can have off paid from my job. One of the many perks of working in education/childcare are the snow days! I have had one so far, and it was glorious - a Friday! We get paid for snow days since it's not our fault that 1/2 inch of snow causes most drivers in the Nashville Merto area to completely lose any common sensical/driving abilities. For example, there were 90 accidents this morning in Nashville. Ninety, on a Saturday, and the total snow fall was less than an inch. Call me cynical, but c'mon people!

Still, I appreciated how that worked for me a few Fridays ago when I was allowed to stay home and do nothing! Jonah and I played in the snow (which, when he fisrt stepped out into it he exclaimed, "Mommy, playdough!") we did some actual playdough modeling, coloring, drowned our brains in television, and stayed in our pajamas all day. Fun!

So, today the snow is more of a bother since the only thing it's doing is giving me more reasons not to get out and do something. Maybe we'll go to the grocery store, there's nothing more fun than walking around and looking at food. Speaking of which, I am finally down 3 more lbs after a 2 week no loss on the Weight Watchers. Yay! I am scratinch my head trying to figure out how I managed that since the only really healthy thing I managed to do this week was drink an insane amount of water and exercised once. Oh well, the human body is a strange thing.

Anywho, I finally put my 2 weeks' in a the YMCA. I just couldn't handle working 6 days a week any longer, albeit the Sunday shift was only 3 hours; I wanted my Sundays back. My last day is tomorrow. It's strange to me that the Y will no longer be a part of my life. I will miss it. It is a great organization. I think I was continuing to stay on there for emotional reasons. One of my many traits that works for and against me is my loyalty. I tend to really invest myself in people I care for and places that I work at. Once you have invested yourself somewhere, you tend to want to stick around and help it grow. So, I have often had a difficult time letting jobs go when I know I needed to move on. Relationships too. Again, it works for and against me. It works against me in that I hold on for dear life when everything in me is screaming, "Just let go!" So, I am listening and obeying God on this and moving on. Still, I am looking for new and creative avenues to make some moola without overworking myself. I've got a resume full of interesting skills and abilities, might as well put them to use. So stay tuned!

We are Family

2007-01-20T08:30:00.000-08:00

Saw Charlotte's Web last night, a most loved story of mine since I was a little girl, and I have to give big kudos to the studio because it was perfect! I kept thinking to myself, "Who is the genius who actually made a spider look cute and cuddly?!" Seriously, you wanted take Charlotte home with you and snuggle up next to her. I think the world may just give spiders some respect after this. Well, maybe.

Any who, we had a little cash, so we went on a family date. Yes, we actually went to eat and to a movie, all three of us. I am glad to report that there was no blood shed (or even tears!). In fact, we had an awesome time! I just felt so blessed as I sat in Chick-Fil-A and watched my husband and son laughing together and sharing waffle fries (as I munched on a side salad ;) I wished at that moment that I could have that moment photographed.

We don't get that much, and by that I mean just pure contentment, relaxation, joy. We're all so busy, all the time. It was nice. It got me thinking that that is what a vacation is supposed to be, and that we ought to take one of those this year. So, there's a goal for our family - to take a real vacation this year, even if it's only a weekend. One of our family goals (notice I didn't say resolution, because that's just asking for trouble!) is to spend more relaxation time together as a family. It's so easy to just keep the little wild person we live with (aka our 2 year old, Jonah) confined to the apartment, where we can watch him like hawks and avoid any potential public melt-downs (which are horrifying and a little funny at the same time) But where's the livin' in that?! So I guess that means Jason and I will have to come to a compromise with little man and find something to do that will suit all three of us. Sounds impossible right? Not so much last night . . . we successfully has a nice meal out (Chick-Fil-A - inexpensive too!) and enjoyed a movie (yes the WHOLE movie!) "Charlotte's Web", and we all had a great time! Did you know that newer theaters have kid seats to put in the theater seats so little ones don't get swallowed whole by the flip-up chairs?! I am easily impressed, I know.

Anyway, fun time. Now it's Saturday, and Jason is at work. Which means I am cleaning house and running errands. That is, after I watch at least two episodes of The Office - Season 2. We got it on sale with one of my Christmas gift cards! It rocks!

So I'm off to plop in front of the tube for an hour before the cleaning ceremonies begin. Bye!

Shhhhhhhhh

2006-12-23T08:56:00.000-08:00

Silence is golden. It's funny how I could just let myself be swallowed up in silence; when I was younger I felt I always had to have noise in the background. I could never just let my ears rest. I would constantly have a radio on, the tv going, or the phone to my ear. Maybe that was lonliness. Perhaps I was afraid of my own thoughts or afraid of actually hearing a word from God. As I have grown, I have become comfortable with the quiet. I'm fine just to let it roll over me like a down blanket, to lie underneath it and listen to my own breathing. To speak in whispers to God and wait for an answer.

It is also probably due in part to my professions. I goes without saying that little children are the least quiet creatures on the entire earth. They even sleep loudly! I've often found myself on the ride home driving in complete quiet, with the exception of Jonah, wh0se verbal aptitude lends itself to a constant jabbering, mostly to himself. He likes to verbalize everything he sees; he is so much like me! I am afraid that I will be getting many notes home from school concerning Jonah's "inability to keep quiet". Oh well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

ACHOO!

2006-12-14T12:11:00.001-08:00

Sniffle, snort, sniffle. I knew it would come to this . . . those cute, but incredibly snotty mini-people were going to break through my over-zealous hand-washing, lysol-spraying, coating of antibacterial shield and make me ill! So here I am at home, all alone, blogging as I blow my nose about three times a minute. Visions of breathing normally dance in my head.

Okay, okay enough whining!

So I am about to successfully send out 50 Christmas cards, thank you Wal-Mart. We actually got a good family picture this year where we all look happy and pretty. My friend who took the picture photo-shopped it good! hee hee. I hope to prove to most of my family and friends that we did not fall of the planet, well not completely anyhow.

This Christmas is so different than last year without all the hoopla about saying "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" or whatever. And as far as Santa, he's worked his way into our vocabulary ever so subtly, and we really don't care. Jonah met Santa briefly at a breakfast with Santa and would not go near the guy! He did, however, relieve Santa of a candy cane. My child will do anything for candy! It's really cool to see Jonah making Christmas crafts at school and helping us decorate the tree.

It's hard to believe this is his third Christmas! I know if I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times, but he's growing so fast! Literally, everyday he has a new sentence for us! Oh, and to update you on the whole potty-mouth issue, it got worse. He did forget all about the word "abajo" which turned into....well, you can figure it out. Then he started gettting really into naming all the vehicles on the road while we drive to work. Let's just say that "truck" in Jonah-ese sounds more like the big ole' F-Bomb. Yikes! My friend, Alisha encourages him to say "big rig" instead.

Until next time, Merry Christmas!

Whoops!

2006-11-11T22:04:00.000-08:00

I think I may have accidentally turned Jonah into a potty mouth. One of my co-teachers at schools is from Puerto Rico ( I know you are thinking "where is this going?" just hang with me!) so she teaches them, and myself, Spanish everyday. He knows "up" arriba, and abajo "down". So my friend came over tonight to do some gourmet cooking ( and we are the rockinest cooks ever thank you!) While we were waiting for the carmalized onion and brie stuffed chicken to bake ( BAM!) we decided to read Jonah a book since it was almost bed time. In the book a little boy climbs up (arriba) a hill, and then he slides down (abajo) the hill. So I am being a smarty pants and showing off my child's incredible linguistic talent by having him tell our guest what "up & down" are in Spanish. Much to my suprise, "abajo" sounded exactly like another naughty word that starts with an a. This is a family friendly blog, so I will spare you the explanation any further. Besides, if you can't figure that one out....well, go back under your rock!

Anywho, we burst into muffled giggles and Jonah just smiled and said it again, and again. Crap, where did my kid learn this stuff? ha ha. I tried to correct him, and the more he tried to say it, the worse it sounded. So I think we'll have him stick to English for now.

Cold Coca-Cola & a Peanut Butter Cookie..Is there Anything Better?!

2006-11-09T18:47:00.000-08:00

I know, I am easily amused...guilty! ;) I've had a wierd day, which has left me in one of those moods where I am just looking for an excuse to remain in good humor. So, being easily amused helps out, plus "My Name is Earl" and "The Office" came on tonight. Love it.

Anywho, I looked over and my choir robe is hanging on the armoire. We had to take them home this week and clean them. For some reason, it struck me funny that I had to wash my choir robe along with my blue jeans and unmentionables. It does look better, though. And speaking of choir ( which sounds like a comedian getting ready to deliver a new bit...and speaking of rutabegas...) for some reason a few of my co-workers think it's funny that I sing in the church choir. I mean "ha ha" funny. I don't take offense, the fact that some find it funny is funny to me, so I take every oppurtunity to sing Carol of the Bells to them in my "old lady" sing-song voice. Maybe this is why they think it's funny. I guess they couldn't possibly imagine me singing in front of others without craking up. Oh well.

So this post, in case you haven't already noticed is completely randumb. Maybe I just wanted to see myself type as opposed to hearing myself talk. Better posts to come, I promise!

November....Already?!

2006-11-04T07:52:00.000-08:00

As you can tell, not much time for blogging lately. Thanks to all of you who still check on me to see if I am alive. I am just reeling at the fact that November is already here and trying not to get sucked into the "Xmas Craze". I put it that way because as we all know, the advertising and retail world have made Christmas a season of "cha-ching! cha-ching!" and how long am I willing to stand in line for a new Tickle me Elmo? Yikes.

We're a little low on the dough right now. We're on a tight-tight budget due to some circumstances, but it's a blessing in some ways because we are actually sticking to our budget for a change since we absolutely have to, and because we are trying to be obediant in keeping commitments. So, this means that we won't be doing much gift exchanging this year, at least not store-bought gifts. But really, what the heck do I need? Not much, to tell you the truth. Jonah has enough toys...WAY too much actually. He would have no clue nor a care in the world if he got nothing for Christmas except a fun time with Mom and Dad. We all are adequately clothed, have food and shelter. God is so good! I am hoping that our financial crisis will allow us to really focus on Jesus this year. I always loathe the inevetable buyer's remorse and the holiday hangover after all the unnecessary gifts have been doled out and we all look at it and think, "Gee who can I re-gift this to?"

So with all that being said, I am off to balance the check-book and make a grocery list while counting each and every blessing. God is amazing and good, He is so good. I hate that it takes a little crisis to help me really see that, but then again, I am thankful for this season in our lives. God Bless you all!

HUH?!

2006-09-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

Big News! I got to sleep in today, and it was fabulous! Jonah turned two on Tuesday, and I suddenly noticed that he no longer resembles a baby in any way, with the exception of the diapers, which we hope to be rid of sooner than later. His head is no longer grossly disproportionate to his body . . . (now don’t pretend mamas, you know for a time all our children looked like aliens with these huge heads and little bodies ( ) He has long legs and stinky feet. He is officially a real boy . . . as opposed to the wooden boy he was once? Hee hee.
I am easily amused, and when he’s not driving me to the brink of insanity, Jonah is a great source of wholesome entertainment. Today I overheard this “conversation” between Jason and Jonah:

Jonah - Daaaaaaadddyyyyyyyyyy!

Jason - Yes, Jonah?

Jonah - Daaaadddyyyyyyyyy . . . .

Jason - Yes…..Jonah, what is is?

Jonah - Daddy?

Jason - *sighing loudly* Jonah! What is the problem?

Jonah - *giggles evil-like* blah blah blah blah … wiggles….blah blah…..elmo….blah blah…milk (the blahs are all the words we didn’t understand)

Jason - HUH?!

Jonah -( repeats his montage, word for word)

Jason - HUH?!

Jonah - repeats himself AGAIN

Jason - HUH?!

Okay, so this goes on forever, and I was in stitches. I love Saturdays!

Welcome back!

2006-09-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

So, does anyone even read this anymore...it's been a long time friends. Forgive me for my abcense. Life has been the epitomy of busy here in my world, and just to prove that it's true, my legs are killing me right now!

We (as in Jonah and I) began our full-time gig @ the preschool in August. It's fabulous, really it is! It has already made a world of difference in us both thanks to less stress, more money, and structure. Jonah is talking a lot more, so now I can understand him 80% of the time. :)

We had his 2nd birthday party today. I am exhausted! There were only 6 kids (including Jonah) but ground up Goldfish crackers are no picnic to get out of the carpet. My parents sent Jonah a gift-card for Toys-R-Us, so we took him on a shopping spree. Believe it or not, Jonah seemed to have the idea that he had a set amount of money, and he was pretty picky! He ended up with almost all art stuff. I have to say, I was (am) proud to see him following in my footsteps in this way. He behaved well at his party, and was sweet - thanking everyone for his gifts and doling out hugs. OKay, I have to stop and remind you all that this is Jonah I am talking about. The same kid who is a holy terror 1/2 of the time...he acted like a perfect angel on his birthday. I guess that was his gift to us! Thanks, my man!

I will post pics shortly, but for now I am going to go crash! I promise a better post later!

Get along little bloggie

2006-08-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

Oh hello little bloggie! I have so missed you! It feels so great to F-I-N-A-L-L-Y sit down in my comfy computer chair, listening to nothing but the tapping of the keys, my own thoughts, and a little Martina McBride. Yep, this is my idea of relaxing!

So enough about that - I am looking forward to having time for this more often since I will be full-time employed for the first time in two years at ONE job starting next week! I did not get the job with Metro Public Schools; I kind of put all my eggs in one basket (or school) and that school went Title I the very day I finally had an interview scheduled. Title I schools are required to have all fully certified staff, which I am not. So there it is. I actually wasn't upset. In fact, I had and have a real peace about not getting hired. God has a pattern of speaking to and confirming things with me in this way. I am just so glad to have a new job to go to! I start as the full-time lead teacher in the Froggie classroom at the day-care I have been working at in the afternoons next Monday. I am really very excited to have my own classroom, to work with a phenomenal group of women, and for the chance to grow as a mother and teacher. Most of all, I am so excited for Jonah. He will be there all day too for 1/2 the price. I think he's going to benefit from the structure and the great teachers! So, I am very very blessed.

Now I am sitting here thinking of something to write about, and I am drawing a complete blank. So, I hope you all enjoy boring post....better posts to come, I promise!

My Boy Likes to Potty all the Time, Potty all the Time, Potty all the Time . . .

2006-07-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

For the first time since moving to the Volunteer State, I feel like we found a place that is really like home. Yes, it's spacious, it's quiet, nice neighbors, yada yada yada . . . it's not the amenities, it's just a feeling. I don't know, it's just a good fit. So, yeah, we like our new place, a lot.

I wrote about change in my last post, which I admit was dreadfully boring. For all 2 of you out there who read this regularly, sorry! I feel like I am dealing with the changes better now that we're settled a little more. Jonah's not totally digging the change of habitat yet just because it's different, but he's getting there. I'm still pacing the floor, waiting to hear from Metro about a job. Everyone who has any know-how about this job seems to think I am a shoe-in, but I am so lacking the confidence to believe it! Partly, I don't know a 100% in my heart that it's what God wants; I'm also afraid of getting let down. I guess I want to be pleasantly suprised that they would really and truly pick me to mold young minds . . . ha ha, that they would really and truly take me as a last resort because the spot was open and they badly need an English teacher to stumble through her first year of teaching with kids who in general will not love English or anything pertaining to it. I have to burst my own idealistic bubble sometimes!

A friend of mine who works at the school I applied at gave me some encouragement the other day, and that sent me flying into a tailspin of daydreaming about lesson plans and literally dreaming about teaching. So, I am just trying to keep it together for a few weeks until I get some definite news, and then if I do get hired I will oficially freak out. Cool.

On the other end of things, literally, we are venturing into the land of potty-training with Jonah. I am completely mystfied by how to go about this, so I am mostly letting Jonah take the lead. He is showing all the "signs" of readiness, so away we go! First order of business is to buy the musical potty b/c while he enjoys flushing the "big un'", he is so scared to sit on it! Knowing how Jonah loves music, the singing potty should be motivation aplenty to fill it with his "poo poo" and "pee pee" - sorry ya'll, but that's the lingo 'round the Z household these days!

Okay, I am pooped ( augh! sorry, I couldn't help it!) So I am going to crawl into bed and dream about paper clips and seating charts, Au Revoir!

T-T-T-time to make a change.... Changes....

2006-07-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

Boxes boxes everywhere . . . I feel like I live in a cardboard city! As you can read, we are preparing to move. The big day is next Saturday. I am SO thankful for this long weekend to get everything packed, but stressed b/c that means living amongst even more boxes. We're also housesitting for some friends who live down the street which means we at least have a refuge to go to, so we get away from the craziness!

In other news, in a bold move to really conquer our debt, we sold the beloved Honda Accord in order to free ourselves from our "stupid" car payment. No car payment less the insurance means lots more money for the Zs! We were able to purchase another "Dave Ramsey" car from a really cool couple ( a friend of a friend) type of thing today. So now I am driving a cute little red Saturn. I like it, albeit it's not much to look at, but who cares?

My last day at the YMCA is August 4th. I will still be working there, only on Sundays now from 1-4. I just couldn't make myself let go of that place. I have been there for nearly 2 years and have made some great friends. It's just an awesome enviorment to work in. So where will I be working full time? I don't know yet! I am trying to wait ever so patiently to hear something (anything!) from Metro Public Schools. As you all might remember, I applied for a high school English position in May - although I am yet-to-be-licensed to teach. Which means I will be their last resort. Which means I will literally know the week before school starts. Auuuggghh! If I get a "nay" from them, I already have a position as the 2 year old co-teacher at the day-care I am working part time at now. I like both places, the money will be good at both places, Jonah will be happy at both places. It is a pretty-much win-win situation. Still, I am a little ball of stress! Please Lord grant me peace!

So, I better get back to packing. Jason took Jonah to Chick-Fil-A so I could have some alone time. I love it!

What's Up, Z?!

2006-06-14T14:33:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been a long time since I have posted anything! It would be a grave misrepresentation to say that I have been busy . . . when in fact I am currently running in so many different directions, I fear that my head just come unhinged and fall off. Yuck. So, Jonah is sick again. It's another ear infection. I can at least boast that I caught it early this time. So before things got really ugly, we trekked to the Doc's office with our friend, JeRee, and she confirmed what I suspected. Then on to Target to get his bubble-gum flavored antibiotic, and now he's taking a nap. So I get a mini-break! See, a blessing in disguise!

So what else is new with us? The whole little Z family has been ailing lately from all sorts of fun things. The day after memorial day Jason came down with the triple-threat (ear, sinus, and upper-respritory infections) Then the antiobiotics kicked his butt on top of that (literally!) Jonah and I also had some sort of fun Bronchitis-type thing before that. All I can say is F-U-N! Wow, I sound like an old lady right now.

Moving on . . . we're moving! Yeah, yeah I can hear the groans now....again?! Well, we have actually lived in the same complex (just different apartments) for 3 years now. The ghetto we currently reside in just keeps getting more "ghettoish", so it was high time for a change. We're moving six miles south to a small town called LaVergne. It's a pretty awesome complex called Summer Creek. Built in 2000 - so still pretty new too. Our new apartment is big ang nice, and the neighborhood is QUIET! Yay! We move July 7th - so we've started collecting boxes and whatnot to get ready for the big move.

Jason and I both cut our hair off. Funny thing is, our hair now looks like it did when we first moved to nashville 3 years ago. Wierd. Funny how people tend to do things in cycles. Jonah is getting so big! He looks like a little boy now - not a baby, which I am totally cool with! He is trying to talk in sentences, but it still sounds like Chinese to me. I love to ask him if he wants Soy sauce or fried rice b/c he knows I'm making fun of him and he laughs. I guess it won't be so funny if he's still talking like that in ten years!

So that's about it for the update on the ole' Z family. Oh, I almost forgot, Jason and I have both become another year older recently. He's 25 and I'm 21. HA HA HA. For our real ages, please send cards with cash or check and we'll mail you back the answer! Just kidding . . . but seriously, let's just say that Jason is 4 years older than 30, and I'm three years away from 30.

Braggin' Rights

2006-05-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

I just have to do a little bragging today. It is mother's day afterall, and I am a mother - so there. First, I am in the best of moods because this has been a fabulous day. Jonah's "eye-teeth" (also called canines, vampires, etc...) have taken a break from piercing through his little, tender gums, so he has, in turn, taken a break from screaming, drooling, and having a fever off and on. I owe this one to the Lord, "THANKS!"

Jonah looked very cute for church. Actually we all looked cute for a change. Sometimes it feels like we just fall apart by Sunday. We spend all week trying to look decent on purpose, then we might try that again on Saturday if we are going "out". So by Sunday, we're just tired. Sometimes I am amazed that we make it to church in one piece let alone, looking nice. But today, we all looked well-groomed. Church was great; the sermon rocked; the choir sounded awesome despite low attendance. Man, it was just a nice day! Jason made lunch; I got to watch a chick-flick, and Jonah has slept all afternoon.

No, I didn't get some elaborate gift or lunch at a fancy resteraunt for mother's day . . . we just don't have the money right now. Still, my family, who are just incredible, made this the best mother's day I could ask for. I feel relaxed and so very, very blessed. What in the world else could I ask for?! Oh, maybe flowers, but Jonah's Sunday school class gave all of us mommies a potted flower with ladybugs on the pots made from their thumbprints! Precious!

Dangerous Minds

2006-05-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah so becoming a teacher is really happening for me . . . that is, I think so. I called The State Department of Education last week and spoke with someone who clearly wasn't keen on answering any of my questions. I hung up feeling frustrated and confused. I am glad that I am such a blabbermouth (and a bit of a cry-baby) since that led to me complaining loudly to anyone within earshot about how annoyed I was with how little help I got when I CLEARLY asked for it! So, that led to some much needed encouragement, which led to some much needed leads who I will talk to on Monday. Cause you know, it's all about who you know.

Anyway, it's just sad how one inconsiderate person, who I am sure normally helps many other individuals pursue their teaching aspirations, could get me so discouraged so quickly. Ah well, I hope she has a good weekend.

As for me, when the actual thought of teaching came up in my brain . . . well actually, I do believe that God put it there - I started to brush it off like I would a fly that landed on my shoulder. "Not now . . . the Y is going well, I like my friends; I enjoy staying home with Jonah . . . not now." Then it just KEPT coming up! It wouldn't go away! I started to remember why I got the degree I did, why I entered the teacher ed. program back in Oklahoma. I started to remember my dreams. It's funny that I feel more excited about teaching now that I ever did when I was in school, although my essay I wrote to get into teacher ed. had me painted as downright giddy about it - what can I say? I wanted in, even if I didn't know why, but I do now.

Now I find myself thinking of future lesson plans, analyzing my paragraphs a little closer (OH PUH-LEASE do not judge this one!) and hoping against all hope that I can get an interview, get certified and get hired!

So there I leave it for now, and updates will be provided as they are available to give. I am going to go read a book.

What Classic Movie are you?

2006-05-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Fletch

2006-04-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

We have a new addition to the Z clan, a cute little goldfish named Fletch. It all started early Saturday morning when I found Fletch's home at a yard sale for $5.00 accompanied by all the chemicals and do-dads that one needs to support a small aquatic life. So Sunday we went to the local fish place The Aquatic Critter. This place is amazing! Some friends of ours who have several freshwater tanks suggested that we go there, since they actually know about fish and even have a guarantee on them. The saltwater fish were the coolest of course; we saw Nemo and his anenome!
Since we are somewhat novice fish owners, we went for the standard goldfish. Jonah thinks he's the coolest and makes sure to tell him "bye" when we leave. Good thing for Fletch, he has a 2 second memory. I do mean the fish, btw, not Jonah! ;)

In other news, I have officially applied to Metro Public Schools for a position as a high school English teacher. I'm hoping to get hired on with a permit and then be allowed to get my certification while I teach. Pray for me!

I'm a Happy Girl!

2006-04-19T13:59:00.000-07:00

Now I am convinced that meeting Cindy Morgan last week has broken the meet-no-see-no-celebrities-in-Nashville curse. Yesterday, my girlfriend JeRee (from work, we carpool together!) had an extra ticket to a Martina McBride concert and invited lil ole me! Yahoo! I got to get all gussied up and go have some fun! I used to be somewhat of a country fan in the early-mid nineties before it got all "un-country" and well, just plain stupid. I was an avid listener of Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Martina McBride, John Michael Montgomery, Little Texas, Patty Loveless, Wynona, and some others . . . but I stopped listening so much after high school.

The concert was at the Ryman auditorium, where there are no "bad" seats. Still, we had really good ones! The sound was awesome, and the building was just beautiful. We sat in wooden church-style pews (as the Ryman was first as church - and is still used for some church services)

Martina did an hour of songs off of her new album, Timeless, which is a tribute to her favorite artists that she grew up listening to like Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette, Johnny Cash, Buck Owens, etc. Since watching Walk the Line a few weeks ago, I have had a renewed interest in the older country music and in Nashville's history. The music was so much simpler and uncomplicated; the lyrics were heartfelt and real, but no abusive or outrageous like so many are today. I can see why those were the "good ole days".

The second half of the show was from Martina's other records, which I knew most of! She has a clean, powerful, BIG voice for such a little gal. She was fun and energetic. Her songs were all either positive and fun or had a really powerful and clear message. I am a sucker for "When God-fearin' Women get the Blues" and "My Baby Loves Me Just the Way That I am". I sort of thought, "man, I need to listen to more fun music!"

I know this sounds like a review . . . maybe it is! I just couldn't help but write about how incredible of an experience this show was! She renewed my faith in (some) country music. Groups like Big & Rich and Gretchen Wilson just make me go "YECCKKKKKK"!

Blogpost Confessional

2006-04-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

Oh I am having mommy-guilt today! Mondays are at-home days for Jonah and me. We get to sleep in and hang out in out pj's til noon, then we get ready and go to the Y from 3-7 pm. This is also my clean-the-house-pay-bills-run-errands day too. Jonah is in tornado mode today, which means that I have to be on alert at all times so he doesn't destroy our belongings. So how am I able to be on the internet right now? I let my child watch Teletubbies, which I loathe. They're just wierd. Jonah is more fascinated by them than anything. He kid of sits there, eyes glazed over, slack jawed, over taken by the mind-numbing power of the teletubbies. Generally, Great Britan puts out some fabulous creations - i.e The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Shakespeare . . . but then there are BIG FAT bombs like Teletubbies and The Spice Girls.

Okay I better go rescue him! As they say in England, Cheers!

Easter egg hunt

2006-04-15T18:30:00.000-07:00

Finally, it has happened to me . . .

2006-04-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

WOW! Me and Cindy Morgan; I am still so excited!

Here is Cindy singing a song off of her new album, Postcards.

I think the curse has been broken, the "Crystal lives in Nashville and never sees any celebrities - ever" curse. I have tried to take the mature route in the past and say that the reason I never see any of Nashville's famous folks is because I am not easily star-struck . . . Which is pretty true, but mostly it's because I just do not pay attention. My mind is always multi-tasking while I am trying to keep my toddler alive, so star sightings just aren't a priority. BUT, I heard on the radio last week that one of the only people I have ever wanted to meet was going to be performing for FREE at, of all places, Oprymills mall. So I dragged the fam out and we got to watch her perform for an hour and then I got to meet her! It was very cool, she was very classy, very sweet, and just as good live as on any of her albums.

I started listening to Cindy's (see we've met, so now she's Cindy, ha!) music when I was in high school. See, I made a decision to follow Christ for real after I first really believed in him when I was 16. My whole life was changing, along with what I listened to. My youth minister's wife, Christy, introduced me to her music; I was instantly hooked. I love to read, so I deeply appreciate a well-written song. There has to be more than a good voice to make me a fan. Cindy Morgan's songs are unbelievably open, vunerable, honest, and beautiful. She's eclectic and daring, she's always changing as an artist, and she's never been the most popular - which to me isn't a bad thing. Her music has been an intragal part of my first decade as a Christian. I could link so many of her songs back to turning points in my growth as a woman and believer. We even had three of her songs in our wedding! If you haven't checked out her music, I highly encourage you to do so.

Like I said, the curse is broken, I have finally met a celebrity in Nashville, although I am quite sure I'll walk right past Keith Urban tomorrow without batting an eye. Oh well.

"I Shake my Fist at you, American Idol!" BLAH!

2006-04-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

MAN! Did I hear that right on the radio this morning? I've never been that into American Idol, but I was SO rooting for Mandisa. I mean, she's a Antioch girl, and she has such a great voice. I'm just disgusted. So, I guess that's the end of my love-affair with the show. She was really the only one I watched, so nowI better find something else to do on Tuesday nights. Hopefully, and I REALLY do hope, she will go on and make a gospel album. I will buy it!

I know you're all rolling your eyes at me, so I'll stop my ranting!

I went with a group of moms (and one dad) from work and church with our kiddos in tow for a tour of one of the fire houses in Brentwood. It was really cool. Oh, except for the part where Jonah got the runs - nice, and I had to change him in the car. He's on his last couple of doses of Amoxicillan; it hurts his tummy! Then Jonah cried when the fireman put on his gear, but I guess to a little kid, that does look pretty freaky. Other than that, it was very informative and the firemen were all really nice. I think the next field trip will be to a bakery! Free cookies!

Thera-Flu

2006-03-31T14:07:00.000-08:00

Oy I feel like poopie; maybe I need a sha-poopie (did anyone catch that on American Inventor last night? Pretty funny stuff) Anywho, I started feeling not so good day before yesterday, and it hasn't gotten much better since. I did force myself to down a steamy cup of Thera-Flu (aka wretch in a cup!) Ugh that stuff is awful, but it always works. It's been an hour since that self-inflicted torture, so I do feel a leeetle better.

Since Jason's not home, I guess I just felt like getting on here and complaining to you all instead. My, how adult of me ;)

It's raining, but warm. Jonah has been asleep for 2 hours . . . I am hoping for a three-hour nap day since I suffered an hour long screaming tantrum at the Y today; I was ready to hand my precious squalling banshee to one of my co-workers and run fer da hills! Know what I mean?!?!

So at least I can enjoy the sounds of light rain and the tap-tap-tapping of the keys on the keyboard. Now I sound like an infomercial for one of those relaxation CD's that has recordings of different sounds like rain, waves, forest . . . my mom used to have a thunderstorm one when I was a kid; it was actually pretty cool.

So in case anyone was wondering what we've been up to as of late, here you go: I applied for a full time job as a teacher at a daycare here in town. My friend's kid goes there, and she's reliable and pretty fond of the place. I got an interview and submitted a killer resume and application. The interview went fab-u-lous. I was SURE I had it in the bag, and despite my efforts to contact the director, I never heard from her . . . says me three weeks later. Grrrr. I had to hear second-hand from my friend that she "loved me, but there wasn't a spot for Jonah." Cool, I get that, but not calling me?! Anyway, there are other oppurtunities, so I will keep seeking and letting God open and close doors. Also, I have applied to Tennessee State University for the teacher certification program. I just have to get my transcripts faxed over, and then I wait. Ya'll pray for me, as I am ONLY going to school if I am able to pay for it with grants, gifts, or scholarships. I know that if the Lord wants me in school, He'll get me there.

Jason has been temporarily transferred to a firm down the street from where he works now to do some "housekeeping". What this really means is that his company is about to lose the account due to some severly lacking managerial and customer service skills by the current management and staff. Sigh. He does not like this place. The people are not very friendly, the atmosphere is more negative . . . blah blah blah; he wishes he were back at the other firm. Jason's older brother Dino wrote in his blog about how resistant we (as in most people) are to change. Yep, change is hard. But we need to change constantly in order to adapt and survive. The only thing that stays the same is God. Yay God! As for Jason, there's an oppurtunity for him to possibly move on up in the company, but it might depend on his performance where he is right now. We have to be tested sometime; it's not fun, but we know that God is greater and He's got us in His hands.

Well, I hear little man a cryin'. See ya!

Chatty Kathy .... eeerrr.....Crystal

2006-03-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

So I have this idea for a cool story, but no idea how to execute it. That's always been a part of my problem . . . some of you dear hearts may be shaking your head right now and muttering, "One of many my dear . . ." Okay, I really hope you're not muttering that, but if you are, much love to you anyway. So back to what I was saying - I love to write. I always have. I also love to talk, which has gotten me into more trouble than I can tell ya, and the trouble began as far back as kindergarten. I just loved chattin' it up with whoever would listen. I accidentally skipped my special advanced reading class in the first grade because this little hispanic boy (whose name has slipped my mind ) was telling me this fantastic story about a flood near his house. He was an awesome storyteller!

I love to write, and sometimes I get these great ideas, but I just get all befuddled trying to figure out how to put it into a story. I think part of my problem is that I get bogged down with the details. Right away I think I need to have all the characters mapped out and the story "just so". Then I start worrying, "has this been written before?" "Who would want to read this?" Hello! I haven't even written anything yet! Myabe I just put crazy expectations on myself?!

So here's my idea: In the middle of the pastor's sermon on Sunday - and YES I was listening, this just barged into my brain out of nowhere, but it was such a cool idea, I don't think it could have possibly come from satan, ha ha - I thought, what if someone found this magic radio that when you tuned the dial it would tune to a favorite song of the person touching it, and it would literally take them back to a memory in thier life linked to that song? Y'know how when you hear a certain song it can just overpower you with the memory tied to it? Trisha Yearwood has a great song about this called, "The Song Remembers When". Anyway, that's my great idea. Or lame idea, what do you all think? Please please write me, and tell me your thoughts! XXX OOO

A Pack-Rat Comes Clean

2006-03-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

Well, the weekend’s off to a good start . . . spring cleaning is well under way; meaning I’ve begun my yearly ritual of going through all of the junk we’ve acquired and have finally decided to do the following with any or most of out MANY unused items: sell it, give it away, or trash it. This takes forever. I honestly don’t know how we fit this much stuff into 900 or so square feet (yup, we really do live in a shoe-box!) I think we could make a good living as the clowns who pile into the little car at the circus, but I digress.
I used to make fun of Jason for being so anal about throwing things away all the time. If he had his way, we’d be minimalists. He likes to see clean space with not a lot of clutter. Jonah really ruins this fantasy of his, but marrying me is what began the crumbling of his tidy dream. ;) I am a pack-rat – thanks mom and dad. My mom keeps everything, and then gives it to me. I remember in college when she gave me her country blue duck dishes. (Remember those? I think every mom in suburbia had them!) Okay – I remember using them when I was 10, and I thought they were scary then. Mom, l love ya, but the duck dishes got sold in a yard sale. Sorry! Still, I had some serious pack-rat issues when Jason and I got married. He wanted to throw all my stuff away! I would get so angry, but over the past five years I admit I have adopted his cleanly ways. It just takes me awhile to sort through it all.
So Jonah is getting a new (new to us anyway) bookcase. So I had to go through his room and try to make room for this much-needed piece of furniture. It was painful! I just love all of his little things; I hate to get rid of any of it. So I got one Publix grocery bag full, but it does look better. Jason mentioned tonight that Jonah was growing so fast. It’s true. He’s almost got all of his molars now, and I’ve already forgotten how he looked before he had teeth. I hate to sound like my parents, but he’s growing too fast. My friends with older kids keep warning me, “Before you know it he’ll be going off to kindergarten,” So I’m trying to take their advice and just enjoy every stage. They’re all so precious. He’s this neat little baby-person now. Still a baby, but rapidly becoming a little boy, a little man. It’s rough because I desperately want him to stay small and cuddly, but I look forward to the unique boy and someday the man that he’ll become.
When some women talk about the sacrifices of motherhood, I don’t think they’re talking so much about the hurting back, stained clothes, or having less money – I think they’re talking about the sacrifice of the heart you make when this little person roars into your life, testing your strength, your love, your marriage, your faith . . . your whole world get flipped upside down and turned out, and at the same time, you’re so in love you don’t know what to do. You love so much you can’t even think about the pain that loss might bring, which is why that relationship with God is so crucial. I can’t imagine trying to wade through the waters of motherhood without being hidden in God. Sometimes great freedom comes with great pain. I have to give Jonah over to God’s care completely in order to be free from the terrible weight of anxiety and worry that comes from caring for him. I’m sure God designed it that way.
Wow, talk about chasing rabbits . . . talk about God speaking in mysterious ways. I just praise God that I am free to be who He made me to be by submitting my everything to Him, which isn’t much, to tell you the truth. Even so, God can do something with me, I look forward to it.

The Skinny on skinny

2006-03-08T12:28:00.000-08:00

Well I'm not skinny yet, but well on my way! Weightwatchers seems to be doing its job, no actually I am doing all the hard work, but 5.6 lbs lost so far! YAY! I just had to have you all share in my joy. What to do to celebrate? Hmmmm.... whatever it is, it will not include food. I will no longer reward myself with food, but that cute pair of shoes I saw on sale at Target....that is a perfect reward!

Not much else going on here, to tell you the truth. The weather's getting warmer, which means that Jonah is getting squirmier. He wants to be outside, and so do I! My parents are coming up to see us next weekend. We are really looking forward to that since my folks are actually pretty fun people to hang out with, and they're funny too. So I should have some good stories to share after their visit.

Man, this is like my most boring post ever. I mean, why even post it? Hmmmm....I guess that's all. Bye!

Hip-Hop and Ya Don't Stop

2006-02-27T08:39:00.000-08:00

Did you all know that MC Hammer has a blog? It's pretty interesting actuallly. He's not a shabby writer either.

It definitely took me back to my childhood - specifically, those wretched Jr. High days. My friends in the neighborhood and my little sister and her friends would take our jam-box to the back deck in the summers and make up dance routines to music like MC Hammer, Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, Boyz-2-Men, Gloria Estefan . . . we were white girls, black girls, Mexican girls, whatever . . . we just loved to dance! We sweated and laughed, and sometimes fought over who would get to be the "choreographer". If my memory serves me right (and most likely it doesn't) we weren't too bad, either.

I remember how ecstatic I was when my grandmother made and mailed to me a pair of purple Hammer pants (or as some called them, diaper pants). I was the epitomy of coolness, only to myself, but they still made me feel like jammin' out to "You Can't Touch This!"

In college, my friend, Shawna, and I would joke about how we weren't really white on the inside because we - two white, middle-class, English major, church-goin', girls - LOVED hip-hop, r&b, and rap. LOVE it still. Not all of it, mind you, a good deal of what's being churned out today is just trash, but there's some good stuff out there still! It was too funny; we'd drive to Sonic and just get down with Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliott, OutKast - and yup - we knew ALL the words. Now, we have kind of moved on from that I guess, but I still need some hip-hop every now and then.

I'm just an eclectic kind of girl I guess. Jason is too. Our CD collection is pretty funny. It can go anywhere from Mozart to No Doubt, Amy Grant to the Rolling Stones, Latin Salsa to Ray Charles - we love it all.

Chocolate Anyone?

2006-02-18T14:23:00.000-08:00

You know I must be serious about losing weight when I will do 30 excruciating (okaaaayyy - a little dramatic, but the butt exercises hurt!) minutes of tae-bo on a Saturday so I could indulge in some Mayan hot cocoa guilt-free. Was it worth it? As Austin Powers would say, "Yeah Baby!"

We got a beautiful snow last night. It's ironic because last weekend the weather-people predicted this huge "winter storm" (ha ha) and we got maybe half and inch. You call that a winter storm? Puh-lease. So this weekend they called for 1-2 inches, a light dusting and of course we woke up to a beautiful white morning, icy roads, and all that jazz. Figures. We still went to the shoe store. A little slush wasn't going to keep me from a boot sale, at which I nabbed a fab pair of boots for $8 - go me, go me!

As indicated earlier, we went to our favorite indulgence The Cocoa Tree. Jonah pooped his pants right before we got there, and they don't have a bathroom. Nice. As we walked in I said to Jason, "Wow, doesn't it smell great in here?" I guess I am imune to Jonah's diapers by now, but Jason is not, because to him it smelled like a blend of poop and chocolate. Yeck. So, he handed the poopster to me. Ah well, we drank our chocolate and then dashed for the car to get home to give Jonah a change of pants and a nap.

Shake it Like a Polaroid Pic-tchaaaaa

2006-02-16T18:53:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching Dancing with the Stars and wishing I could move my hips that way and have a killer six-pack. I think I could move my hips that way, but I might look terribly unsexy and uncoordinated. Still, I might give it a try on my own to some salsa music and call it a workout.
Anyway, Weight Watchers is going well. I admit, I had my doubts (even though the commercial with the Cher song did make me all misty-eyed – oh the shame!) I am actually feeling healthier, exercising more, peeing like crazy due to all the water I’m drinking, and losing weight. I weigh in on Wednesdays, and I get so nervous before weigh-in! All these women stand in line with their booklets, none, thankfully, look the least bit smug. ALL – even the skinny gals, look a little worried. For some reason seeing skinny people look nervous makes me feel better. I am bad – so sorry my skinny sisters!
Anything new with Jonah….? He’s feeding himself! It’s VERY messy, but he’s getting better every day, so I can always wash his clothes. It’s so cute how proud he is of himself. He’s saying something new every day – yesterday it was “truck”, “cute”, and “stinky”. He is a dancing machine. I caught him trying to snap his fingers as we jammed out to Crystal Lewis on the way to the Y this morning. Thing is, I don’t have a clue who taught him to snap! Oh – we laid off the teeth brushing thing for a few days since it only led to screaming and crying, then tonight I got the toothbrush out and he let us brush his teeth NO PROBLEM! Strange child. He’s such a changeling. This is no way guarantees that he will not scream tomorrow. But I’ll take what I can get.
Well I apologize that this is such a boring post. I honestly have no clue who reads it since no one seems to believe in comments any more….sniff, sniff. (guilt trip, anyone?) A better post next time; I promise! See ya!

"Come here you devil log!"

2006-02-08T12:06:00.000-08:00

Hiya Hiya Hiya! Have ya'll ever seen Heavyweights? It's a movie from the mid-nineties with Ben Stiller, where he is the phsycotic manager of a fat camp for kids. It's HILARIOUS! My best friend, Jessica and I love this movie, and have pretty much avoided watching it with others around b/c we bug them to death by quoting it through. Anyway, I was going to jsut sit down and write about how I joined WeightWatchers when that movie came to mind.

Except, instead of a sweaty, muscular, and slighlty deranged German telling me to get my fat butt on the scale, a nice little old lady asks me nicely to weigh in every Wednesday and then rejoices with me in my shedding of excess poundage - which is ......... drum roll please.......
1 LB!!! So, it's not much, but it's a start.

So WeightWatchers is pretty cool, can't call it much of a diet, but a BIG lifestyle change by way of my eating habits. I feel more balanced at least.

Other than that, not much going on here. We're eagerly awaiting our tax return so we can spend a little of it on things we need, not want. :( Oh well. And Valentine's is next week. Which I am actually looking forward to, although I am unsure if I have anything to look forward to. Jason is good about keeping me in the dark. Which makes it awesome if he suprises me, and if not, then I am not too disappointed.

Saturdays

2006-02-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

We've been productive today! And, no, not in the sense you might be thinking. ;) We've actually gotten quite a bit accomplished as a family, all while not really having to leave the confines of our apartment.

It's actually clean for one thing - laundry's done, dishes put up, no toys scattered everywhere, even the bed is made (gasp! I know, what is the world coming to?) I finished our taxes - much love to Turbo Tax! Paid rent, exercised a little (and I do mean, a little), wrote emails, read a few chapters from a book, got Jonah to take 2 naps, and I wrote in my blog. Whew. I'm a little tired!

See, staying home on Saturday can be un-boring. I can't wait til Alisha gets here so we can blow this popsicle stand! ha ha

We ran off and joined the circus . . .

2006-01-28T08:09:00.000-08:00

No, we're not talented enough to join the circus, but it looked like fun! Here are some pictures from Jonah's first trip to the circus Thursday night.

Are these two cute or what?!

That is one BIG booty!

Here's Jonah, kicking back and relaxing - eating goldfish (of course) while watching the circus.

Who are the bravest (or craziest) people in the circus? Nope not the trapeze artist- they always have the safety net, not the tightrope wlakers - they have a mat to land on, not even the tiger guy . . . it has to be these chicks, who willingly lay down and let a 900 lb elephant walk over them. One mis-step and SEE YA! Yikes. I was impressed. Btw, this is Asia the elephant at Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus.

Going once, going twice, SOLD!

2006-01-25T13:05:00.000-08:00

Breaking news: Crystal actually accomplished something today that included making money and getting rid of something she no longer needed or wanted. I know this is totally not a big deal to anyone but me, but I am overjoyed that I actually sold a book on half.com to a woman in Georgia. Bless you, you awesome buyer, you! You are not only giving me money, you have restored my faith in my selling abilities!

See, I used to work in the gift shop in the Airport Marriott - the most incredibly, brain-rotting, boring beyond belief job to the point I wanted to scream job I have ever had. I was SO happy to leave this job just because my IQ went back up everytime I clocked out. It was that bad. Still, I managed to get associate of the month and good reviews . . . I was so bored I was looking for things to do, like making a pyramid out of boxes of pins shaped like little guitars that read "Nashville! Music City USA!" Ack. Anywho, I smiled and did my job diligently, and they never knew that I secretly hated the place. But y'know, I am a loyal gal, and the benefits were good and the pay was decent, so having Jonah was my perfect exit strategy. Why am I going on and on about this? Because when I had my last review the only thing I scored low on was "selling".

My merchandise was your run-of-the-mill souvenir junk - hats, cheap t-shirts (which were not cheap in our shop!), pins, keychains, blah, blah, blah, but for some odd reason we were also selling baby stuff, toys, watches, those crystals with the 3-D pictures in them among an assortment of totally random items. Part of my job was to sell this totally un-needed stuff to people staying in our hotel. Ugh. I was not good at it. No, I take that back, I was an abysmal saleswoman. My motto was, "I wouldn't buy this crap, why would they?" My inner rebellious attitude must have leaked out into my selling, cause it wasn't happenin' for me! One of my co-workers, on the other hand, a nice lady in her 50's, could have sold a rare steak to a vegetarian. Seriously, people were practically jumping to buy random (and expensive) gifts from her. Maybe she was nicer, maybe she was better at merchandizing, maybe she thought people really needed $10 magnets with witty sayings on them - who knows? Maybe I just didn't care!

So, I sold a book on half.com, and now I see that without my actual person in the equation, it can be done - cause I really just listed the item and VOILA! It's sold. So that's cool. I ran around the apartment today, frantically looking for anything I could sell. Jason might come home and find a few things missing . . . just kidding. I'm not THAT good . . . yet!

Notable Pics of the Week

2006-01-21T20:04:00.000-08:00

Here's my sweetie scraping the ice and snow off my car. I am such a great wife, taking his picture as he freezes his tush off. Sorry, Jason, but you know I got nothin' but love for you baby!

Here is Jonah with his little buddy, Connor, who is my friend, Luisa's son. Connor and Jonah love each other . . . most of the time, when they're not trying to smother each other! Here they look either angelic or mischievous?

Ah yes, he looks like he got into some tan-in-a-can, but this was actually the results of his first chili experience. As you can see, he really "got into it"!

We got the white stuff - baaaabaaaay

2006-01-18T12:55:00.000-08:00

Yeah, that's right! We finally got snow! We actually got a "fair dusting" and it was melted by noon. Still, the schools closed?! Seriously, if you want to move your children to a magical place where school is cancelled for things like rain, tornado warnings, and flurries - move here!

I could probably count on one hand how many times school was cancelled due to weather - and that's elementary through college! Sorry for the whining, but it's just not fair! Okay, enough of that; I am annoying myself.

Jonah thought it was pretty cool though. So cool that as we got in the car, he decided his hand was cold and promptly stuck his freezing digits down my shirt! YOWSA! That was cold!

So . . . I was supposed to go to a monthly work meeting last night, but it was cancelled due to weather. I wasn't too sad since it was the first night of American Idol! I feel sort of like a dork that Jason and I are into it, but so are all my friends at work. If you're going to be "dorky", might as well be dorky in a group of other dorks! The first night was good and bad, as expected. It still amazes us though, that some of these poor people think they can sing well enough to go and audition. Are they just surrounded by cruel people who love giving them false hope? Or do they surround themselves with others who are also tone-deaf. I don't get it, but it sure makes for good TV!

Yawn . . . Sigh.

2006-01-13T11:51:00.000-08:00

I am a little depressed. I realized today as I was driving home from work, that I have sat on the couch every night this week and watched television. Yikes! This is not good - a) because my butt doesn't need any help getting bigger b) this means I am wasting 2-3 hours a day doing nothing but staring at a screen, and c) because it makes feel like I am getting stupider every minute. I could blame the television networks since there are quite a few really good shows this season. So I guess I'll pick a few and stick with them. No real need to watch the news, as it's the same news every day . . . "It's going to rain . . . gas prices are up AGAIN . . . someone was robbed . . . someone was shot . . ." It's obviously also depressing.

So my goal is to set some goals, get moving. How did it get this bad? I admit I am tired. Today was a DAY at the Y. I think every child who walked through the door had a major meltdown at some point. I saw more than two other nursery workers look at each other and mime hurting themselves. I totally wanted to run away and get into the fetal position. Glad work's over! Y'know it is funny how another person's screaming child is like nails being driven into your brain, but then you can somehow tolerate your own banshee's screams . . . well, most days anyhow.

So here's to a good weekend! I hope! I am going to find something for us to do because I refuse to sit in this apartment all weekend, even if it is pouring outside.

What smells like gross cheese?

2006-01-11T16:09:00.000-08:00

Seriously....I cannot find the source, although Jonah is looking like the prime suspect. Still, his diaper's okay; hmmmm . . . maybe he just needs a bath.

Anyway, no more vomiting here. Jonah's back to his old self; right now he's trying to climb me like as if I was a human play-gym. I need to cut this dude's nails! Ouch! We had to stay home from the Y yesterda since he puked there too the night before. He had to be 24 hours puke-free before coming back, which is totally cool. Well, he was fine all day, and I think we were both getting cabin-fever, so we went to the zoo. I confess that I have not used my zoo membership as often as I should since we got it, but it does come in handy when you want something relatively fun to do for free!

It was pretty warm,but the zoo was still relatively empty. A lot of the animals that aren't always out seemed to be enjoying the 60-something degree weather, especially the big cats, which are Jonah's favs. The clouded leaopards were the best because one came running up to the glass and started showing off for us. He seemed to really dig Jonah; he was acting like a big (really BIG) house cat. I actually thought that it was probably feeding time or something, and Jonah looked like a yummy snack. Still, I would rather believe that Jonah was just so cute and loveable, even the carnivorous wild-cat wanted to play (in a very nice, house-pet sort of way)

Okay I will finish this post later, b/c the cheese smell isn't getting any better, and I have a weak stomach! It's off to the bath with him!

If you're gonna spew, spew in this . . .

2006-01-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

I would love to greet you all with a "Good day!" but it ain't gonna happen. The bad day actually began last night. I have been bragging that Jonah is "15 months and has never thrown up!" I realize that I am huge LAME-O person for bragging about such a thing. In fact, it makes me cringe.

Anywho, Jonah had eaten dinner last night and was doing his usual run-around-the room-squeal-jump-dance thing when he stopped short of the dining room table opened his mouth and blew chunks. Sorry to be so graphic, but this came as a shock since he gave NO warning! Then he cried and looked pitiful while Jason promptly began to freak out about Jonah . . . no that's not right . . . the carpet, yes! Jason was having a heart attack about carpet while I began disrobing the vomit covered child. Nice. So we got Jonah cleaned up and re-dressed, then I got to scrub puke out of the carpet. And so the bad day began early . . .

This morning he ate breakfast and then barfed before he left the high chair. AS he started to cry and look pitiful again, Jason wondered aloud if Jonah might be throwing up on purpose because he doesn't want to eat. WHAT?! I wondered for a split second if he was joking, then realized he wasn't and got angry. I was tired and fed up, and really grossed out - I hate vomit more than anything! So I yelled and Jason left, and I plopped Jonah in the tub. Better go cause it looks like Jonah is back to his old self, eating and destroying anything in his path!

This too shall pass!

A real lifesaver

2006-01-08T18:50:00.000-08:00

Wow it's not often someone introduces you as, "Oh yeah she's one of the people who saved my life." and they mean it in a literal sense. Of course, I'll explain; this summer before the infamous and devastating Hurricane Katrina made landfall, my good friend, Natalie, asked me to pray for a friend who was living in the area it was going to hit. She wasn't really sure where her friend was living; she had been in New Orleans at one time. Her friend was pregnant.

I write down and email out prayer requests for our lifegroup at church ( we're fancy; we have lifegroups, not Sunday school - ahem, same difference) Anyway, I asked the class to pray for this girl ( didn't even have her name, actually) and I emailed it out later that week and trusted that our friends prayed for her and her baby.

Fast forward to December 2005 - my little family drives over to the home of David and Natalie Phillips (expecting in Feb 2006!) for a surprise birthday bash for Natalie. We meet there their new neighbor who lives in their basement-apartment. Her name is Dawn and she is a recently divorced, very pregnant young woman. She has come from a number of bad situations which I will not go into great detail about, just that her ex-husband is a drug addict, she comes from a broken home, and she barely survived Hurricane Katrina this summer.

As we chat, we get to talking about the most wonderful thing of all, how we came about to know God and have a relationship with Him. She also starts to tell us her harrowing tale of living the summer with some relatives in an old house on the Mississippi coast, of the electricity and communications going out long before the news that Katrina was heading directly for them; they were blindsided, of water rising to the attic where she and her family (and a few strangers) held on for dear life, how the waters were swept back out, of hunger, darkness, dampness, hiking through waist-high mud with two tiny dogs in her back-pack and a baby in her belly, and finally a long trek in a car with her brother on a road to nowhere which landed them somewhere in Florida. Then she came back to Tennessee. Wow. to hear the actual story from her is really amazing, and as she was telling me, something in my heart just jumped. I realized, this was the no-name, pregnant friend that we prayed for. How can I explain the voice of God in my heart telling me my answered prayer was sitting across the living room from me? The tears welled up in my eyes and yelped, "It was you we prayed for! You were the missing friend of Natalie's! We prayed for you!" She just smiled and nodded and said ," Thank you!"

Fast forward again to today - I was sitting beside my new friend Dawn at Natalie's baby shower, holding the new love of Dawn's life - her name is Shea (Shay) and she is perfect and beautiful. Another woman walks over to say hello and asks how we know each other, and Dawn says, "She's one of the people who saved my life. I was down there in the middle of Hurricane Katrina, and they prayed and I lived." Wow. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Home again, home again . . .

2006-01-04T06:47:00.000-08:00

from left to right : Tosha, Kat, and Crystal

As of last night at 11:05 pm, we are home from our trip to Oklahoma! Hallelujah! I love it and all, but the weird weather and raging grass fires caused me to miss middle-Tennessee with its chilly mornings and TREES something awful.

Speaking of trees, what is it about them that I love so much? As we flew into Oklahoma Christmas day I said, "look Jonah, land of no trees." I am not knockin' Oklahoma ya'll, but I am so used to being surrounded by trees that it looked like a barren wasteland to me. The fires didn't help to diminish that image either. Oh well. As you can already tell, this will be another completely random post as I try to put off unpacking two huge suitcases looming in the front room.

Jonah ran to Jason as we came into the airport; it made my heart jump a little, and made me realize that I should've come home sooner. That child loves his daddy, and I like him alright too! ha ha. It's funny though, how Jonah just fell right back into his old routine. He had been having considerable trouble sleeping at my parents' the last few nights. It wasn't his bed, there was no music playing softly, and Daddy was not around - it just wasn't right. So I was dealing with a significantly cranky child right before we came home. But as of last night, he did not wake up once, got up at his normal time, and is taking his scheduled nap - just like we never left! Have I ever mentioned that I think my child inherited Jason's anal gene?

So since the title of this post is about being home, I realized the last few days of my trip, that Tennessee is my home now. My Dad and I took a drive out in the country on Monday afternoon and we talked about when that change occurs when the place you used to live blurs from home to a place you visit occasionally. It is weird though, that my Mom still talks to me about the going-ons of the people of Ryan, OK, and I had to tell her several times that I had no idea who she was even talking about . . . she shrugged and told me anyway (go figure, my hilarious mom!) Still, it made me sad that things had changed in the countryside of Ryan and Waurika, where I spent my last years at home. I guess I had hoped that my grandmother's brick house with the wood floors would always seem big and mysterious instead of kind of small and dusty. I wanted my great-grandmother's house to still be cute and warm - now some family lives in it, and quite frankly, has trashed it up pretty good. I just wanted something to stay the same, but it all changed, and then again, so have I.

I think I wrote that I was going to a wedding on New Year's in OK, to be the matron of honor to Jessica - Jonah's godmother. I am so glad I was able to go. It was great to see the Johnston family (hey Susan!) It was fun to just be myself without Jonah attatched to my hip, although I missed him fiercely while I was there. As much as I liked being "just me" for a few days, I found that I was a little unsure of what to do with that. Mamas, you will probably really understand what I am about to say, and others, especially single gals, will go gee, you mother-types are strange.
The truth, in my opinion, is that becoming a mother changes who you are completely. I am sure this is not true of everyone, but humor me here for a moment. In a matter of 4 years I go from, just Crystal (Morris) - single, happy, perpetual eternal college student, etc . . . then I'm Crystal (Zaragoza) wife to Jason, happy, working, and still an eternal college student, then I am moving to TN which finally forced me to become a college graduate, then in 2004 I am (whoops-a-daisy!) pregnant Crystal, working, nauseous-all-the-time, and finally I am Crystal-the-mommy with baby on the hip, and of course-working (but working WITH baby on the hip!) happy most of the time, tired a lot of the time, confused often, and just trying to survive parenthood thus far. Are you tired just from reading that?! I am. I am not whining, just observing that my gosh that is a lot of changing going on in such a small time period. SO - I said all that to get to my point . . . Eventually, which is that it is very easy as a mom to use your child or children as a sort of shield, or as something to hide behind. I mean, if you aren't sure of who you are anymore, isn't it easier to say, "Oh look at Junior! Look how he says poo-poo, isn't that darling?" instead of having to carry on a civilized conversation when you know good and well that you have only watched Wiggles on TV since forever, your current events include teething and what new food little Suzy tried as of late.

Here's why this blog is good for me - it's helping me to get back to writing again, which I have neglected for a very long time. Don't be misled by the lack of style and creativity in these posts, I used to be pretty good! I still want to be pretty good. I am learning that it's okay (and possible) to be Jonah's mom and also just Crystal at the same time. It's a work in progress I guess.

Did I mention that I got to wear a gorgeous evening gown and actually looked sexy and Jason wasn't even there!!!!!!!!!!! Arrghhhhh!

New pics of little Z

2005-12-20T12:49:00.000-08:00

Jonah thinks it's hilarious that mama's taking a picture!

What a ham!

Jason just gave Jonah two Calliou dvds! Jonah loves to watch Calliou on PBS kids at 6:30 am!

Job predictor

2005-12-19T06:41:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine told me to go to this funny website - www.jobpredictor.com , and it IS totally hilarious. You type in your name, then is tells you what you were created to do (a joke of course!)

Apparently, if I go by just "Crystal", I should be a dentist. "Crystal Ann" a superhero! I knew I was feeling like I missed the boat - ha ha! Jason will be especially interested to know what his says..... :)

Old Saint Nick

2005-12-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

What do you think about Santa Claus? What is he to you? I've had to think a lot about that this year. I have a lot of friends with kids that are at that age where they're hearing all about it and asking Mom and Dad, "So is he real?"

So is he? Will letting my kid believe in Santa take away from the focus of Christ's birth? Will letting my kid buy into the idea that an old dude in a red suit will bring you a gift if you've been good mess him up theologically later in life....Well, I really doubt the latter...But I'm still new at this parent thing, so Jason and I have been mulling over this ever since the Christmas season began.

Of course, he's only 15 months so it's easy this year, and probably next year too - we can avoid it all together. Still, I guess we should work our qualms out now before little man is old enough to observe all the hullabaloo.

I was at a Point of Grace Christmas concert (which was amazing! Those girls can still wail!) on Wed. night and one of the girls said that we really don't have to teach our kids about Santa, reindeer, lights, trees, etc . . . It's our culture - they observe it and just know; we do have to and need to teach them about the birth of Christ as the "reason for the season".

So here's what I think.... Growing up, Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year - sure I didn't know about the real reason for it as a child, although I did know that it was when a baby was born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph (which I learned from Charlie Brown and a Disney cartoon believe it or not!!!) Even though I was lost as lost could be and no one in my family knew God, I knew that Christmas was special; it was magical. Santa was a good part of that, but from what I remember, I figured out early on that it was a game. If I'm totally honest, that's probably because my sister, Heather, and I were the world's biggest snoops, and we found our hidden treasures long before they showed up under the tree with a "From Santa" tag on them! Still, I loved to pretend. Every child wants to believe and has the inclination to believe that there is something more powerful out there than what we can see - we want to believe in magic (not sorcery, okay!) but magic, the impossible . . . Santa was just that. Even though I knew my parents put those gifts there, I still wanted to believe. So maybe in part, that was the God-shaped hole in me just aching for something more, to know the God of the universe.

So you see, even though I was not a believer and did not have the priveledge of knowing the real meaning of Christmas, Santa still played an important role in my growing up. I'm really not a fan of mall Santas (Jonah is terrified of them!) or commercial Santa with a cell-phone, but I do love the story of Saint Nicholas, who loved the Lord, and loved the poor - who spent his life giving to those less fortunate and sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. I still have a soft spot too for jingle bells, cookies and milk, and a gorgeous Christmas tree.

I think that while the cultural aspect of Christmas shouldn't be the focus of our celebration, it would be silly to take it out completely. Because as awesome as the idea that a man could fly in a reindeer-propelled sleigh and deliver millions of gifts to all children in one night is amazing and fantastical - the birth of God in man-form to a virgin in Bethlehem is WAY more amazing to me. Even still more amazing is that that baby grew into the man, Jesus, who lived a sinless life, and then gave his life and became sin as a sacrifice, to redeem us from sin, to give anyone eternal life should they choose ot believe in and follow Him. The cool thing is - that's not a game or a story, it's true. It's true because He bought me with His life! He has changed and continues to change my life, and I love Him so very much. So, do the Santa thing or don't, but if Christ has redeemed you, then I know that light will shine bright and you can't help but talk about and worship God, Jesus - that tiny baby born so long ago in a stable....So, Merry CHRISTmas and have a blessed new year!

Random Thoughts

2005-12-13T14:36:00.000-08:00

I was just itching to type again, so here goes nothing. First, I am probably writing out of stress. It is nearly Christmas, and I am fighting off feeling like I am going to be really glad when it's all over, becuase this is the birth of Christ we're celebrating for goodness sake! Still, there are just so many functions. Y'know what I mean? Don't get me wrong, I love to go do stuff, but I also have gotten really good at saying, "no". I'm glad I read at least some of the book Boundaries before this season began, so I can say "NO!" with confidence that people will still like me even if I don't go to their dinner party. Sigh.

I am listening to the beautiful sound of a very tired 1 year old screaming at me from his bedroom. He seems to be winding down, but he is totally over-tired and just plain cranky. I hate hearing him cry though. I remember when I was a kid I thought it gave my mom some kind of sadistic pleasure to make me cry, since (according to me then) she made me cry all the time. Truth being, I made myself cry most of the time in a vain attempt to get my way. Ah, now the tables are turned. I wonder if she struggled with that motherly instinct to run in there and just hold him even though I should not go in there under any circumstances b/c then he will never take a nap. Sigh. See - this is why I am tired!

Okay, now there really is silence. I think he is waving the white flag. Anyway, Jason and I have been informally making a list of all the fun things we did or didn't get to do as kids that we want to do with Jonah. We're at that akward stage as parents when we're trying to adopt our own traditions, namedly, Christmas traditions. What is it that the Zaragoza family does thatis unique to us? Last year does not count since we had a newborn and were in survival mode. So far Jonah has gone to the babysitter more than usual. How's that for family tradition. I can just see it now . . . imagine Jonah in the second grade doing a paper on "Family traditions"....."At Christmastime, my parents leave me with a babysitter almost every chance they get so they can run off and do fun stuff without me." Gee, how nice. OKay, we're not that bad, it just seems like more than usual. We need to spread all these fun Christmas get-togethers out over the year so we can pretand to be socialites all year long!

We did drive through Brentwood Sat. night and looked at the lights on the mansions...or maybe we just looked at the mansions. Jason said," Do you think the people that live there spend much time there? Or do they work all the time to pay for it, but don't really get to enjoy it?" Hmmm...I wonder that too. I have never wanted a huge house, not because I don't like them, but because I think a family might get lost in there. Just drift away from one another, living separate lives in their own wings. I want my family to be close, not mud-hut close, but close enough to hear one another and know what's going on. I mean, Jonah will be grown up and flying the nest before we know it, (okay like in 17 or so years....but still!) Why rush it?

Just thinkin'

2005-12-08T15:11:00.000-08:00

I hate being cold, but I love the winter...what is THAT about?! I guess I like it because you can always put more clothes on to feel better where in the summer...you can only take so much off. Rather, you should only take so much off, ha ha!

I remember when Jason and I first moved here over 2 years ago how we whined about not really having many friends or anything to do . . . how things have changed! I laughed at myself the other day after I commented on how stinkin' busy we've been lately. Work meetings, Christmas plays, church functions, weddings, work Christmas parties . . . it goes on and on. Y'know, it reminds me of a magnet I have on my fridge that says "Thank God for Dirty Dishes because it means we have enough to eat." So I thank God for a crazy, busy schedule because it means we are blessed with a host of loving family and friends, a great church, and great jobs. Furthermore, we live in a fantastic place! I am very thankful for our blessings!

So here's the part where I get all sentimental - I am thankful for you, who are reading this silly blog thing. For taking the time to invest in and care about our family out here in Tennessee. I love you all. Sometimes it is so hard living so far from our family and friends back in Oklahoma. We worry that our families especially don't realize that we didn't move here to get away from them or to just get out of Oklahoma. We just needed a new start for our little family. We needed to go out on our own, wherever God led, to follow our dreams and see what the Good Lord might have for us.

Turns out He does have a plan for us here, which seems to be revealed a little more each day. Sometimes we wish we could just do like Charlie did in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and rip all that wrapping off to see if the golden ticket was inside, and just see what in the world He has us here for beyond the incredible relationships we've built. But that doesn't seem to be God's plan....so we're just following after Him, waiting to see what's around the corner, trying to do His will and follow the dreams He's given us.

I praise God from whom all blessings flow for His patience with me and for His deep deep love for me that keeps pushing me to want more than just the "okay" in this life. I pray that for you too, that you would remember that part of the mystery of God is in His awesomeness and power, not just to create or destroy, but the power to love and hold us beyond our comprehension. I have a new favorite song by Natalie Grant called "Held" and that song just sums up what God has been teaching me over the past year, which when looking back has been FULL of trials and adversity, yet all I can see afterwards was that God never let go, He never broke His promise.

The song lyrics say that while God may not have promised to deliver us from particular circumstances, He did promise to hold us and love us. He promised to continue to pursue us. And I know for me and my household, He did just that. He let us go through it - we have just ambled between brokenheartnedness and the lap of God. Of course I'd wait until I knew I couldn't do it on my own, I couldn't make things better, even though I knew that from the beginning (darn my self-centered nature!) then I shuffled or crawled to the Lord, just broken and waiting to be rescued. In all the difficult times I've experienced (and difficult is a subjective term!) I have yet to regret going through the storm to find the blessing, the nugget of wisdom, the love of God waiting for me on the other side....no it was in my lap the whole time, I just failed to see the forest for the trees.

Sorry this is so crazy-long. It's coming on the end of the year, and all that's happened is just spilling out through my fingers! Love ya'll!

"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...."

2005-12-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

Picture: Here's Jonah at the Y, giving little Elijah a push!

Wow, December 1st already?! It gets to be Christmas so fast around here! My favorite radio station has continuous Christmas music....which I love ( visit www.94fmthefish.net to listen on your computer) We have our little table-top fiber-optic tree up; okay so it's a little ghetto-fabulous, but a floor tree was a no-go thanks to Jonah aka - Mr. Search and Destroy. Having a kid does make Christmas so much more fun though. I loved Christmas as a child; it was always so magical. I want the same for Jonah. I especially want him to be in awe and wonder of the miracle of Jesus' virgin birth. We can't wait to tell him about Mary & Joseph, the stable, the baby Jesus, etc . . .

Jason and I are actually going on a REAL date this weekend. I know, how cool is that?! We're going to see the stage production of "It's a Wonderful Life" and out to eat. yay! Next weekend downtown Franklin becomes a Victorian English village for the Dicken's Christmas where all the merchants will dress up like characters from " A Christmas Carol". Before we know it, we'll be welcoming in the new year, sigh, it just goes too fast.

Well, Jonah had shots today and is currently wailing in protest of taking a nap...but I wanted to congratulate Jamey and Kellie Zaragoza on their new baby boy, Jackson Wayne Zaragoza - born Saturday, Nov. 26 - 7lbs. 8oz! Let's hear it for the Zaragoza boys! whoo hoo!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-24T14:00:00.000-08:00

Gee, for such an ugly looking bird, he sure does make a good meal! I hope you all have had a wonderful day! We spent Thanksgiving with a family we go to church with, the Heltons. It was a lot of fun with kids running around and a ton of good food! Jonah ate a roll...whoop tee do! I couldn't believe he wasn't hungry! oh well!

Brrrrrrr!

2005-11-17T14:19:00.000-08:00

Yes! It's finally cold! While I do not like to actually be cold, I love all things associated with cold weather like hot coffee (no more cocoa for me thanks to the ole' South Beach diet!) soups and stews, warm fires, toe socks, scarves, Thanksgiving, Christmas . . . I just love it! I think it is the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year"!!!

So Jason is enjoying his new job, downtown! Yes, we do think it is SO cool that he works downtown. The thing I don't like? Having to pay to park when we go visit him for lunch, downtown. $4 is pretty steep! I guess all his John Grisham reading and lawyer-show watching has paid off now that he works around high-profile lawyers all day. He comes home and spouts off things like "opposing counsel" and "deposition". Fancy! If you don't know what Jason does - he is in "data imaging" which means copies, faxing, setting up meeting rooms, presentations, mail. It's cool. At my work I use terms like "poopy". "sippy cup", "snot"....hmmm, not quite as fancy. Oh well.

So we just realized that we have done NO Christmas shopping. I can hear the gasps! And some of you smug people have had yours done since July right?! We've never really been that into the whole shopping thing when it comes to Christmas. We'd rather sleep and eat Turkey the day after Thanksgiving, thank you! We've told all the family (subtle reminder) that we'd really like Jonah to have books rather than toys. He has plenty of toys already that we have no room for, but we can make space for books pretty easily. As for gifts from us, we are considering one toy gift and a book. He loves the vaccum cleaner, so we're thinking about getting him a mini kids' vaccum. He would love it!

As for Jonah - his new thing is hugging other toddlers and then taking them down with him. He also has become very attatched the rolls of masking tape and sharpies at work. He will do anything to get to hold the tape! He gets very unhappy when anyone takes a toy away from him, but he's happy to give it up if you ask nicely - then again, I guess we're all like that aren't we?!

Little Spike and Big Spike

2005-11-05T07:28:00.000-08:00

Can you believe this backdrop is right beside our apartment? I have to say I have the two most handsome men in the world!

Baby of Mine

2005-11-03T19:16:00.000-08:00

Wow, who knew Halloween could be so crazy? Fall here is a BIG deal, and we've just been overwhelmed with "stuff" to go do. The Saturday before Halloween we went to the Pumpkin Festival in downtown Historic Franklin, TN. Historic downtown Franklin surrounds the square, which has a series of seasonal festivals. All the shops there are very trendy and cute (and usually expensive!) There are also a ton of good eateries as well. All the shop owners were dressed up and handed out candy. The festival has a giant pumpkin (and I mean BIG!) that you could guess its weight for $1 and win $100 with the winning guess. All the kids and some parents, and lots of dogs were dressed up. There was pumpkin anything-you-could-think-of to eat and drink....but the highlight of my day was a place called the Cocoa Tree. All you chocoholics, this is a good reason to come visit me in Tennessee. See, Jason and I started the South Beach Diet on Tuesday Nov. 1. , so the weekend before was all bets off. Y'know - sugar binging at its finest!

So the Cocoa tree - the name alone had my attention. We walked in and I was in heaven (please Lord let there be some of this in actual Heaven!) The whole place just smelled awesome, not too sugary-sweet, but perfect - chocolate. They serve basically one thing - yup - chocolate. The real stuff; we're not talking Hershey's kisses here - I mean like from the movie "Chocolat" (a fav of mine!) Truffles, cake, and REAL hot chocolate. Even "Mayan" hot chocolate - hot chocolate with chili pepper in it. So I decided to be brave and try the Mayan stuff. WOW! I know it sounds crazy, but it was just perfect. Not too sweet, really bold, and spicy when it hits the back of your throat. Okay I sound like a commercial, but it was such a treat! So now we're on the South Beach deal getting healthier and trying to survive the sugar detoxification process. :( Thank you Lord for sugar-free candy and Diet Dr. Pepper. At least I can pretend to eat sugar.

Okay so back to the Halloween stuff. Sunday was positive costume night for the AWANA program at church. Jason does the voice of the Cubbie Bear puppet - so I talked him into dressing as "Chubbie Bear" - Cubbie's Loving father! He let me paint his face brown and I even made him some felt ears. He said he looked like a dirty mouse that crawled out of a trash can, but the kids thought he was cool! Oh well! Jason is a good sport! I was a toddler . . . pig-tails, ribbons, a pink paci with paci clip, plus my lovey -a plush pink hippo. I told Jason if anyone was confused about my costume I'd cry or steal something out of their hand or push someone down for no reason and THEN they'd go, "Oh! She must be a toddler!"

On Monday - Jonah wore the costume one more time. I got my money's worth outta that thing! He went as Dumbo. Yep - he will be really mad when he sees that later, but it was cute! The costume was alright as long as the weather was pretty cool, but as soon as it got warm, it had to come off. At our church's Harvest Festival - Jason used Jonah's pumpkin to load up on candy that we can't eat, so Jason took it to his new job to make some more buddies. I, on the other hand, am not taking it to work b/c it will create enemies! Several of us ladies are trying to lose some weight!

Lil' Punkin Head

2005-10-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

My two pumpkin heads - Jonah and Jason!

Here are some pics from our trip to the pumpkin patch in Smyrna, TN.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

2005-10-19T14:39:00.000-07:00

Here Jonah is sporting his lovely "der der" (Jonah-ese for spider) that we made at the YMCA! He is obsessed with der ders....yuck! I pray he never wants one for a pet!

By the way...I have to brag just a little....Jonah can now sign "finished", "bye", "Hi", "more", and "eat"! I've been doing the signs with him for months, and it's like he's finally decided to sign back! Yay!

Happy Fall . . . Ya'll!

2005-10-14T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hello again! It's officially Fall here in Middle Tennessee according to the calendar, but it's still too warm and the leaves have yet to change . . . I can't wait! The Fall here is definitely my favorite time of year. We have a bazillion Harvest/Fall festivals, pumpkin farms, farmer's markets . . . lots to do to take advantage of the great weather! I sound like a travel brochure for Tennessee...oh well; it's all true!

Jonah loves the weather. He and I generally leave for the Y at 7am (on a good, not-running-late day) and it's a little chilly when we step outside. He raises his hands up like he wants to feel the cool air and squeals. You gotta love a kid who can really appreciate the little pleasures in life. He is the most "morning person" I have ever met. He's just all smiles when we arrive at the Y, while I probably look (and sometimes feel) like I've been run over a few times ~ that is until I get to the coffee!

Jonah is talking a lot these days, and sometimes we can catch a real word or two. He is very fond of a paper spider at work - little Halloween decoration thing - which he calls a "der der". I found out that he could say "that" while pointing at a co-workers lunch and yellling "THAT! THAT!" He's a mooch. He's into the stage now where Jason and I have to read a book not once or twice, but 8 or 10 times in a row until he's sastisfied. If we try to skip a page or read it in the wrong order, he gets all bent out of shape - he definitely thinks he's the boss...but he only thinks that . . . I think. His other new thing lately is that he LOVES to dance! Any music he hears he'll sway side to side, head bang, or do some Mexican hat dance type footwork. It is hilarious!

Mr. Big-Shot....Whoo Hoo Hoo . . .

2005-09-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been a busy month! I told someone today that I'm already tired just thinking about the upcoming holidays and all they entail. An upside is that we are just tickled thinking about all the fun things we get to do with Jonah this year. For example - we already have his halloween costume - it's a secret for now - but let me just say that it is SO cute. We're having his pictures made tomorrow in it, and I'm sure it will involve crying judging from the pitiful state he became when we tried it on him this afternoon. Jason swears that Jonah is going to be angry later on when he sees what I (not Jason, who washes his hands from the costume) put on the poor child. Hey I pushed him out; if I want to dress him up I can! Okay, I'll quit huffing. lol

Anyway, I went to a women's conference in Knoxville, TN last weekend and had my first night away from Jonah. I only cried once when we left from the church and pulled away from Jason and Jonah in the parking lot. Sniff sniff. I was fine after that - wow, I had forgotten how to walk around without a child on my hip. It was awesome! On a serious note, Beth Moore, who spoke at the event was wonderful, and God really used that weekend to revive and speak to us tired mamas (and some yet-to-be mamas but still tired ladies!) Jason got to FINALLY go see Oasis in concert this week. He came back hoarse and deafer than ever. He had a great time, and of course Oasis WAS all he has hoped they would be!

Jonah is running now (he looks so cute in his little New Balance!) He loves to watch bigger boys run and jump. He's working on the jumping thing, but that's a bit harder when your legs are so short! Jason bought him a pair of Converse shoes, the black and white originals - while I was in Knoxville. They are darling! He looks pretty cool walking around in them.

I feel like our apartment is becoming a Toys-R-Us toddler boy section. Bless all you wonderful gift givers . . . he has a million toys now and plays with like ONE of them - :) He loves the little push deal that has the multi-colored balls that pop when you push it. He just thinks that thing is amazing. Oh well, I'm sure he'll get to the others some day.

Oh I can't forget to tell you all about what Jason did . . . yup that means it was something he shouldn't have done! He thought it so amusing that I had to share it with ya'll. Well I work on Monday nights at the YMCA, and Jason comes and picks Jonah up after 3pm. Now I assume that when they go home they play, eat dinner, bathe, and then to bed. Well I came home after work that night and all seemed fine. I did go into the bathroom and noticed that there was a bunch of hair (from someone's head) in the tub and a big pair of paper scissors on the counter. Well I just figured that Jason gave himself a trim since his hair grows so fast and thought nothing else of it. Lesson #1 learned - ALWAYS think something else of it! So the next morning I am getting Jonah out of his crib and ready to go to the Y when I notice that his hair looks funny - shorter and really really crooked. AHA! Now I put two and two together! That man butchered my baby's hair! I was angry and laughing at the same time as well as feeling extremely sorry for poor Jonah and that pitiful excuse for a haircut! So I called Jason after getting to work; not only did he fess us - he laughed hysterically! I tried to fix Jonah a little better, but I have relented for now. I'll just let it grow out a little and then have a professional fix it. Needless to say, Jason is banned from all hair-cutting in the future! He is not a barber, that's for sure!!!!!!!!!!!

He had his cake . . . and ate some too!

2005-09-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

Well we partied like it was September 12, 2004....except this party didn't include an epidural! Jonah is ONE! Jason and I are shocked that a year could pass so quickly, but I can't really say that we're sad. I've had a few friends say that every stage in a baby's (and child's) life is precious and needs to be treasured. I'd have to agree. While Jonah turning into a toddler certainly bring new challenges, it's so amazing to see him learning and developing his own unique personality. He's definitely his own little special person!

His birthday party was Sat. evening at his favorite park. The park was basically empty and the weather cool. It was perfect! We had sandwhiches and cokes with the adults while the kids got to swing and play on the playground equipment. Cake time was crazy! Jonah seemed awfully confused that I was allowing him to be messy and wouldn't really touch his cake at first, but then he went to town on that bad boy! He literally covered himself with cake from head to toe; it was funny and totally disgusting!

Our sweet friends got him some clothes and toys - one an especially noisy toy (Ron and Alisha we will get you back when you have children!!!) Jonah was falling asleep by the time we left; poor thing crashed from too much sugar and excitement.

So we made it a whole year with no serious injuries and with our sanity! God is good!

Don't forget to go to www.bringingupjonah.shutterfly.com to see pictures of the event! The password is robertray.

From Baby to Little Boy

2005-09-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

Oh my, it's happened! Only a week away from his birthday and my baby boy looks like a little boy! We went for his first haircut yesterday . . . grabbed the camera and our baby soothing devices (i.e. goldfish crackers, juice, etc.) and headed to a place up the street called Style America - kinda like Supercuts.

All went well until the actual cutting of the hair began, then out came the wailing, screaming banshee within Jonah. The girl who cut his hair was awesome; she didn't bat an eye, just kept on cutting no matter how he wiggled. That is talent! By the end he was just wimpering, but he quickly perked up when Jason showed him a butterscotch sucker! His hair looks so cute! No more mullet, no more wings. LOL! Seriously we knew it was REALLY time to cut it when before we got Jonah to the chair to get his hairt cut, the hairdresser asked, "How old is she?" I laughed and said," see - it's time! "

So here are a few pics of the ordeal. Don't feel too bad for him, he was fine the second the scissors were put up!

Here we are again!

2005-08-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

Well, we had some technical difficulties on our last blog, but you all seem to enjoy readin' about the going-ons of our family, little man in particular, that we couldn't let it go!

So on the last blog (which is still there, Im just not able to add to it) Jonah had taken his first steps . . . somehow he has gone from first steps to full blown walking (and a little bit of running) in a week's time! Along with his mode of transportation, his personality is changing too. He knows he is running with the big boys now - literally! He is so giggly and silly lately. He loves to show out. It just floors us right down to the ground to see this little person who a year ago was so tiny, walking around like that's what he's always done.

So we didn't get blown away by what was at 1am tropical storm Katrina. She was just a little wind and rain by the time she rolled into Nashville. We got all prepared anywho with the water, flashlights, and batteries. We really did get out of that by the skin of our teeth, thank you Lord! Ya'll remember to pray for everyone down in our neighboring states of Louisiana, Mississippi, Georgia, & Alabama. It's so bad, and a lot of people here have family in those places. Pray pray pray.

To end on a light note - Jonah's birthday is Sept 12th. We're celebrating on Sept 10th with a little party at the park. I think going to the park is going to take on a whole new meaning now that he is walking!